Relationships Today....

Do we really prioritize people and relationships over fun and money? Do we recharge our phone enough to talk to our beloved relations? Do we travel enough to get to know if someone you share a bond with, really needs you? Do you really love all the people you say are important to you? You think you give them enough time to let them speak their mind out?

Think it out!!! Write it somewhere or speak it out to some anonymous trustworthy person. Because when you talk about something, you actually know what you need.

Talk, not because they need to know your perspective, but because you need to know yourself. 

Who really does the talking these days. Relationships break because of distances and  selfishness. You talk only when you feel like talking. You dont when you dont want to even though there is no reasonable reason at all. Why cant we walk in somebody else's shoes? Why cant we consider the relationship and not think about ourselves. Why doesn't this 'break' remind us of all the hopes and promises we made to the other person? Whenever any situation arises, the first thing we should be considering is, 'is the relationship more valuable or the reason behind the fight'. 

Every relationship is like a parent child relationship. Deal with the adolescence and the child will become your best friend forever. 

What do we really need? What do we do? How can we find the answers for all these without talking out whats on our head.. We need to open up. To someone. Be it your girl friend, o brother o a childhood friend, just express yourself. Not because they deserve to know your life but because you trust them and you need to know what is really going on... 

You can run away or not think about situations very easily. But you need to have the courage to think about a problem, face it and fight it. Because you might run away from it fr a day, or 2 or 3 months o may be an year. But it wont leave you in peace. 

#This is based on a real life incident. Any resemblance to any characters either virtual or existential is not coincidence at all#

The ultimate way of expressing Love

The other day, when i was in Hyderabad meeting friends, i met this close friend of mine after a long time. We decided to spend some more time to catch up where we left out. and he said 'I never thought this would affect me so much. I shouldn't have got physical with that girl two years back. I should have kept it special and reserved for this one. Now when i truly love Apoorva, i feel so guilty about something. I feel she might not accept my love for what i did.' Not just him, a few other friends, who are in love also told me something like this.Why does this happen? When we expect our love to show their true love only to us, why can't we deliver the same. Why should we give importance to temporary physical pleasure and call it a one-night-stand and regret it later. For people who do not regret, I am sorry, you are not in love.

What is sex? Is it just a physical activity done for heavenly pleasure? Are we really better than animals? We communicate. We expect, We love. We sacrifice. Then why can't we stick to one person.. Sex is its best when it is not planned. It is the ultimate way of expressing Love. Only then, even scientifically, it is considered to be the best way of gaining its pleasure. Even in history, when people say 'we are in love, we even had sex', it means, they loved each other so much that they did not find any other way to express it.

In other countries, people believe in live-in-relationships and multiple weddings. But Indians are happier than any of those people. Because, our culture says, we cannot have sex before we get married. true, this was said years ago. But it never said, go have fun with how many ever you want and still expect your spouse to be virgin. Because practically also, we know it is not possible. Unless we are something, we cannot expect the same.

Around us, we see a lot of people who make friends with a hotter person than an average looking person much faster. They have fun and partly, equally quick. They dont talk to each other, not to their mutual friends, not to anybody they might find close to the other person. And why is this happening? Guilt? May be..

I am brought up in a middle class, partly orthodox family. I studied in a girls' school and i had guy friends since i was 12. Making such a mistake isn't really hard for me. But misusing the freedom given kills me. I was brought up around people a few years older than me. And fortunately, I witnessed their relationships, guilt and break ups. And decided not to make any or let my people make any such mistakes. But things turned out the other way. Best friends started hiding such incidences, they avoided me because if we met, they had to talk about it and would feel guilty about the same. I am not here to find faults or correct your lives. I am a friends, keeping you as safe as i can, warning you before you do something. I am still a friend not a foe.

We show love to our siblings by sacrificing little things for them. we show love to our parents by doing what they want us to and by caring. We show love to our friends by standing by them, every time they need us. But how do we love to someone we love above all? Doing all these does not please us. We need more. We need to show more. Then comes the act of getting physical. This not a planned act. It happens by itself in true love. But we have ethics. What if, that person is not our true love? What if we get married to somebody else? What if you fight and break-up later? That is why we have to keep a few actions on hold. Later, imagine the other person saying 'lets not get physical for a while. Lets see why we are really together'. Doesn't it hurt? Isn't it another way of insulting you or your ethics or love for him/her. Think about it...

The Night is still Young

One Amazing Night!!!!! The best night of my life.. Totally adventurous..

    It was in between the Zo-Nasa.. On the 14th of October 2012. That night, the convention ended around 11. And  at 11 30, we were all out and Bharat, my best friend, picked me up from the venue directly. He knew how careless and sensitive i am. So he carried an extra jacket with him for me. He borrowed his friend's bike and we left!! We had no clue, what to do and where to go... We wanted to go, just because we wanted to do these few things before he was leaving the country...

    I suddenly got reminded of the night shopping at Shilaparamam, Hitech city and we decided to go there. It was open from 12 to 1. We reached there at 12 sharp. It was a very chilly ride.. Mid nights in October, in a place like Hyderabad, it is around 18 degrees. And bike ride at that temperature... cannot be explained....

On our way, unless you look at the shops on the sides, you wont be able to make out that it is mid night. People were moving like they do on a holiday.. Mild traffic.. The only shops that we open were the medical stores, the beetle kiosks and some liquor stores... All our way we were lost talking.. staring at people and wondering where they must be going at this odd hour.

The place was with a hand full of people and the stalls were all empty.. It is quite natural to expect loads of other people or atleast the salesmen to be in form, in such a place. So disappointed we were. The only thing that was totally active there was the open restaurant. We talked for a while and found that a part of the compound wall did not exist. We walked out of that, on the road and back to the parking.

Next halt, was Aditya's house. Bharat and me had met 9 years back at an electronic crash course and Aditya and a couple of other guys too were a part of this 21 days of summer fun!!! Falknama it was. We dint know the address. Aditya surprises me at mid nights. I wanted to surprise him too. We called another friend Aashish who guided us to Adi's house..

On our way.. this is the most memorable or the best part of the night..

We could see women on roads all alone around 2 in the night. Who said women are not safe here. They trust their community. The community respects them too. there are other people out as well near charminar. I always wondered, how they could capture such beautiful pictures of the monument when there is so much of traffic around, all the time... i now get it... And these women wear bhurkas. The best part of this culture is, because every woman wears a bhurka, they consider such a woman their sister. They respect her with all their heart and make sure she is in no trouble as long as she is in their vicinity.

We cross Charminar, we drive along, guessing the route and reach Aditya's house as per Aashish's instuctions. We call him. We keep calling for a real long time... He finally picked. we told him we were outside. He dint believe us but he finally came out.. And he freaked out real bad.. He wanted us to leave at once because he said the place wasnt safe. People dont move outside at nights and being a girl, they would kill me if they saw. I found it really hard to believe because i have witnessed women walking alone on streets. Bhurka, wouldnt really make any difference according to me because religions are secondary. Humanity comes first. We spoke to him fr a while.. I mean 'WE' spoke. All he said was, 'Leave, it is dangerous here'. And we finally left. On our way we were discussing about who was more crazy.. 'US' because we randomly went there or 'ADITYA' because he wz too scared and asked us to leave at once...


Honestly, it had been pleasant. i could sense no danger. Absolutely nothing.. My Hyderabad and the old city and most importantly, i was with Bharat. Nothing could ever go wrong... We were hungry. We couldnt think of any other place other than the airport.... Hunger was another reason for that. We drove all the way to the shamshabad airport. He was driving and i was the pillion rider, hiding myself behind the huger person. :D


We couldnt talk anything with that cold air hitting our faces.. The road to shamshabad was clean and clear, without too many speed breakers. There were a couple of barricades on our way where there were a few policemen standing. They stopped us from far, but as we got close, theey saw a girl behind and let us go. For some reason.... Airport it was!!! We roamed about a bit, talked all the emotional stuff that we would'ne be meeting any sooner, once he leaves and stuff like that... Mc D early morning breakfast with coffee, Bharat smoked a cigarette and we drove back. I drove the return journey. It was 3 30 already. And the climate was getting better and better. That was my highest speed on a 2 wheeler. 100 kmph it was!!! With not too many people, not too much of traffic, pleasant and calm, we drove back and reached the destination at 5, when he dropped me and left.

I've done many nighouts. Many night drives and did too much of crazy stuff. But this one is special. So special that it gave me enough confidence about my city and everytime, i hear the word 'night out' or 'night drive' this is the first thing that comes to my mind. A best friend shall always be a best friend... Nobody can replace him and no distance can separate them.

 I miss you Bharat Korlapati...

Love...

There is nothing like failing in love. Its just falling in Love. Even if ur love loves u or doesnt, it doesnt matter. All that matters is, you and your happiness.. U are happy lost in your world...the beautiful world of you and your love... nothing else matters..

Not expecting anything, they say is Love. But we're humans.. We definitely expect something from everyone we come across.. Atleast a 'hi' or a smile.. :) When we expect stuff from acquaintances and friends why not love?? We start expecting... And slowly you realize, your love doesnt love you the way you do... You feel hurt...really hurt... You try not to expect... Slowly the level of expectation comes down and one fine day, you expect nothing.. This definitely does not mean you dont love your love any more...

It might mean, the one you think is your love, doesnt deserve your Love.. or Your love loves someone else..or you are not your love's ideal love...Or you have changed from the time you fell in love.. But y did u change.. It was for your love.. not realizing that, people part... they still love each other. but they wont get back..
                                           
          The one who loves more, might expect for a miracle to happen and that sometime her love realizes, but if it doesnt happen before it is too late, you cannot love ever again....

      P.S. There is ntn like love.. its just a feeling.. call it Awesome, call it weird, call it heaven, call it hell!! The more you stay away from it the better!!! It definitely makes you happy. But it makes you a million times sadder too... After all this, even if you find the perfect one, you will not be in a position to accept it. Your Love is gone....Forever and ever...

Has kite flying lost its sheen?

Kite flying which was an integral part of sankranti for most of the kids and youngsters apart from the men who used to fly kites dont is not fancied any more. Event organizers and clubs like ghac (Greater Hyderabad Adventure Club), are organizing events to bring up the lost charm and fun of kite flying.. Parents keep asking the kids to go out and fly kites but the kids seem uninterested. instead the parents can themselves go and fly which inspires the kid in a lot better way. Rangolis are seen in front of the houses.

Because some localities have a committee to select the best Rangoli and the committee visits every house to check for it. When this is the scene, in some localities even if there is no committee or competition, Rangolis are seen because of the pace this happens in the other areas. It inspires them. But this should happen as a part of the custom, as a part of the festival celebration. 

Diwali for crackers and sankranti for kites are the two festival everyone celebrates, irrespective of their religion. But the number of people flying kites is reducing by 40% every year since last 3-4 years. This is partly because of the sun that is shining brighter and brighter every year.. And the developing technology. Previously when kids used to meet up, they used to play outdoor games. But now, they discuss the gadgets they have and the version of software they are using. festivals are to be looked up as festivals, and not just as any other day!!! 

Its our responsibility to revive back our culture and make sure our festivals remain festivals and not history. We need to make sure that the Indian festivals, which have a very prominent and a strong history are all revived and are celebrated as they are supposed to be for the rest of our lives and pass on our cultures and customs to our next generations correctly.

Happy Pongal and Happy New year 2013!!!

Ganesh Chaturthi

The festival is celebrated in the memory of how Lord Shiva killed Lord ganesha by cutting his neck off, as he was stopping Lord Shiva from entering his own house while Parvathi was taking a bath. Lord Shiva did not know that Lord Ganesha was a creation of Parvathi for guarding the house when she was taking a bath. After seeing the headless body of Ganesha, Parvathi was broke. Seeing this, Shiva, ordered his men to bring the head of any creature that is lying with it head in the South direction. They only found an elephant doing that and got its head. It was then attached to Ganesha’s body. This is how he has the elephant head.

  When Parvathi first made Ganesha, she made him out of flour. Not out of Plaster Of Paris or some non-biodegradable material. We celebrate Ganesh Chaturthi in memory of this incident and another incident where the Moon, on lord Shiva’s head, laughs at Lord Ganesh’s huge belly.


     What we learn from this festival, is that we shoulnt laugh at anybody and hurt their sensitive feelings. We are not taught to use POP or white cement to make huge idols and dump them into the local water body to pollute it and to filter and purify the same later for consuming.


 
  It is nowhere said that the bigger the idol, the more blessed we are. Then why use such huge structures and pollute??? Why use non-biodegradable stuff to make these temporary structures??? Why uses the old, left over last year’s idols for our puja this year??? Cant we use the small, fresh, mud idols nd go on with the small scale puja...



     The essence of the festival is to worship an idol for a short time and immerse it on the 10th day of the puja. Let the idol be small or big!!! Then why pollute the water using these big, huge structures which dont even dissolve in water!!!!
Cant we just keep it simple? Cant we just use a small, mud idol and pray whole heartedly? Wont we be blessed if we do it?? The small scale, eco friendly festival!!!!


    The idol can be made up of so many eco-friendly, bio-degradable products like the Indian clay, paper mash, Salt, etc. These dissolve in water, once immersed, and merge with the water and the soil, causing minimum damage to the environment!!! The mud idols are available in the morning of the festival!!! They are freshly made in front of our eyes and, like in everything else, the fresher, the better!!!! And when we see it being made in front of our eyes, the experience is amazing.. Let us use these eco-friendly idols to make our festival more ethinic and natural.


      Why cause damage to our society and make life miserable for the next generations. Let us do our part in keeping the earth Green!!!!

                                 

A Best Friend

   Best friend is someone u share anything with.. irrespective of it being relevant or irrelevant to this buddy.. You keep sharing everything with this mate, at every walk of your life… Your thoughts, impression on every random person, likes and dislikes, every little thing. 


“A true friend is someone who you can be transparent with, who is transparent with you, who does not expect you to change and whom you never expect to change”

    This might sound a lot similar to a lover.. But there is a lot of difference.. With your lover, everything changes with time.. We meet them as acquaintances, makes friends with them, get attracted to something about them, talk to them and stay with them as much as we can, try to impress one another, get into a relationship with them, get committed, get married, become parents, grandparents…… At any stage the bond can break.. The involvement and commitment changes at every stage.. But with a best friend, there are just three stages.. acquaintance, friend and best friend.. 

   Not all acquintances become our friends..not all friends become best friends… At any stage, this thing can get cut.. but once we are true best friends with somebody, we will remain best friends for the rest of our lives.. There will be a lot of ego problems with our partner, but with our best friend, who knows us totally..we will not have any…

   Best friends also have issues, they too fight, they too stay away from each other without staying in touch for a long time.. But if they are real best friends, they will know each other well enough to understand and sort the problem.. It might take time..but in the end, best friends will be best friends… 

   A best friend cannot be lost.. it is totally in our hands to bring them back as out best friends.. We have every right to slap them and ask them why they are doing this.. It just needs true love for your friend to do it.. To make the rest of the journey beautiful, we need them.. 

   Some people are too lucky to have so many such beautiful friends.. but to maintain them for the rest of our lives is not so easy..Like in any other relationship, friends fight. But the issue should be solved as soon as possible. The later it is, the more difficult it is to get back the friend.. 

   Everybody will have a best friend at some point of time.. The challenge is to keep them in their Awesome position as long as we live!!! 

   Some people get married to their best friends.. In a way it is good. getting married to friends and best friends is totally different. With friends, we are what we are!!! But we don't open up like how we do with our best friends. But with best friends, we are ourselves.. The child in every person comes out in front of the true love and the best friend!! Best friends know us the best!! Even better than the spouse....

   Getting into a relationship with a best friend, is not always right. If everything between the two is mutual then there is absolutely no issue. but when it is friendship for one person and love for another and this friendship upgrades to a relationship, then a lot of differences and understandings arise when it comes to the expectations point of view. One person has feelings for the other person but behaves like a best friend. The other person who treats the former as a friend slowly realizes the love for the later. And when they then get into a relationship, things will not be the same.. The friend from the beginning person, expects something more from the lover acting as a friend. but that is all that lover can give because for that person it has been love from the beginning.. 
This totally disappoints the friend.. The lover acting as a friend will be very happy because that person is getting what he always wanted.. but this friend, will be so disappointed that they'll think that "If my best friend couldn't be the one I wanted, can anybody else be that!!!" This phase the person goes through is horrible!! Even the Lover will be hurt because he is not able to reach the expectations of his Love.. If this thing doesnt work, people break up!! But only true friends, continue to be what they were before the relationship, realizing that they were better off or best as BEST FRIENDS..

   Losing a best friend is like losing a part of your body.. It hurts like hell.. Then why lose them?? Why cant we just talk and sort it out!! We become friends because we wanted to!! because of some third person or some misunderstanding, if we break our friendship, that doesnt make any sense. Value friendship!! value Friends!! Sort out things.. The sooner you sort it out, the better!! Misunderstandings and guilt keeps haunting you otherwise!! Let us get back our friends!! They are our Friends after all!!! We have a right on them!! We wont let them go just like that!!